we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize