Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
