Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
