so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so let's talk penis.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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