Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
