What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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