He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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