Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
