so explain again why im purple
no
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
