The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
