i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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