i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
