It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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