Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
