he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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