respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize