I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
