I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
