yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
