Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
