This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
