My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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