I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
