I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
