The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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