why didn't you poke me back
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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