Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
