O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
