oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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