I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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