I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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