now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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