the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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