listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
