I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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