Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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