Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
