He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
