Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
