i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
These tits shall not be calmed
jump out the window naked night went bad
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