From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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