I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
