Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
