But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
