I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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