Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
