Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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