This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
