i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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