Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i drank out of a bidet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
