and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
