They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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