Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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