sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
50% drunk capacity currently
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
