Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we're making bets on your personal life
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
