i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this just has baby written all over it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize