My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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