It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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