she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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