i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We are all done wearing pants today
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
