Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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