So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
