i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you win again, gameday.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize